So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
