your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
