I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
