I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
