Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
