i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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