Your mouth is God's brothel.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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