there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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