So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
