There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
