He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
