Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
She's the barista slut.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
