I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
where are you?
Hypothermia
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
