I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
whose parrot is this?
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Randomize
