just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Randomize
