i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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