I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I enjoy the company of your penis
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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