i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
