you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
