well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
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