Got a toothbrush?
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
