My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Randomize
