i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
