is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
