sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
