OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
