Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize
