so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
