I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
