i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
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