I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
