Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
