if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
