Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
