Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Randomize
