this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
