So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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