I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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