It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
After tacos, we're chasing women.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
