Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
