I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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