And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
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