Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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