Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
