Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
