Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
