Quick, to the slutcave!
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
And then my night got REAL pukey
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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