I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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