So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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