Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
