i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
